I’ve been giving my blog as much attention as I have been giving to my sex life.
And if you’ve been keeping up with all the nothing that has been happening in these ends, then you should know where I’m headed with this analogy….
Life has been great. But you know what could make it better? A cute guy in a uniform.
There is something striking about a postal worker, carrying a sack full of letters, credit card statements and overdue library book notices that makes me want to twirl. Maybe the fact that he has a job is in itself enough for me to take a second look. It could also be the fact that he’s wearing a shirt whose sleeves just so happen to stop short of his triceps. Or it could be that he obviously doesn’t mind walking, which means that he’s in some sort of shape. Which means, that if I ever were to see him with his shirt off, I wouldn’t be accidentally slapped in the eye by a sagging man boob. Points for postal workers and UPS/FED EX men throughout the entire world.
…Or what about firemen? After all, they have opted to dedicate the rest of their lives to rescuing kittens and elderly women who forget their ways back home. How much bigger of a heart can one have? In third grade, I took a field trip to the local fire station. During one segment of our excursion, we were able to try on the standard uniform. I almost collapsed under the weight of the jacket. Just the jacket. But when my neighbor’s apartment caught fire a few years ago, the firemen who attended the scene had a way of making everything about their job look attractive. Even their oversized fire-retardant jackets. I was so enthralled that I almost asked them to inspect my room to make sure my bed was fireproof. Almost.
…And don’t get me started on construction workers. Their hard hats alone are signifiers of all things hardworking and strong-smelling. Then there are the highlighter orange vests that accent their importance to the cities we live in. Which, theoretically, is justified. If you think about it, construction workers are responsible for every building constructed throughout history. Without them Jesus wouldn’t have had a job. Ultimately, the world we live in would look more like the Book of Eli and less like a Starbucks fairy land whose free wi-fi is my excuse to “write”. Extra credit points to the person who brings me the name of the world’s first construction worker.
…And librarians. Well, they don’t have an official uniform. But the fact that they don’t mind being surrounded by books for the majority of their day is pretty unusual. And unusual is attractive. Very.
…Footlocker employees, fast food cashier-cooks, and people who work at Pet Smart are all equally as attractive in their uniforms. Deserving of exactly two sentences.
Gals and guys, it is your turn to inform me. Let me know what professions whose dress codes make you want to skip your lunch, and have a quick meet and greet in the janitorial closet.