How Many Clicks Does it Take…


It begins with just one click. Usually it is intentional, focused on where it is going. That is until you log on and are ambushed by a never-ending news feed. More times than not, you are minimally interested in that person’s life. But their profile picture is cute, so you click anyway. Next thing you know, you find yourself drowning in status updates. Most of which would be better off kept in journals and not in the public eye for strangers, potential mates and bosses to see.

Before you know it, twenty minutes have passed and you are now misdirected. You are five friends removed from your network and further away from your profile. Instead of going back “home”, you find this a convenient time to visit an ex or two. Click.

Ah..he’s in a relationship. You wonder who she is. Click.

Ten minutes later, you have viewed all of her photos, relishing the shots that caught her at a bad angle or with one eye open.

Two minutes later, you apologize profusely, embarrassed and frustrated at how insecure you just acted. You wish them the best and click out as quickly as possible.

At this point, you forgot why you logged on and spend another five minutes trying to remember your agenda. While quickly updating your status on twitter.

You construct a clever sentence in less than 140 characters, and return to Facebook having remembered your original intent. You scroll through a few hey’s, and yo’s, and spend about three minutes thinking of something interesting to type back. So as to avoid having a full-out conversation, because that is what phones are for,  you just click the “like” button, or reply with a smiley face.

Now, on to your inbox. You have 117 unread messages. 110 of them are invites to parties hosted by friends you have never met. Three of them are hosted by people you know, but who are not your friends. This leaves only a few messages from people you really know. Exciting.

By this point, you have noticed all of your friends can see that you have been logged in for what feels like forever. You become self-conscious and hope they do not think you are a Facebook groupie. So you make your status invisible to appear as though you have more important things to do. Besides what it is you are really doing. Clicking yourself in and out of a gratifying distraction.

Hoping you do not forget to log-off.

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6 thoughts on “How Many Clicks Does it Take…

  1. Hilarious because it’s so true.u hit the nail on the flat side. The black hole vortex that is the internet.the mass consumer of time.weapon of mass distraction. Modern day life. It is what its been programmed to be.as convenient as it is, the simple life of just 15 years ago seems like a utopia in comparison…….on some levels. Thingsll never be the same…the nature of change. Information overload like my cellphone manual. I use to write a list before signing on….now that my computers portable and my other one fits on my pocket…the symbiotic relationship is getting out of balance.if i fast from it for 2 days…,loads of junk mail awaits and tons of amusing silly and devious videos clips are missed and i spend more time catching up on what i missed over those few days than what’s goin on now. How do we define addiction in this context?

  2. Oh my goodness… I just told myself this morning, I’d stay off the news feed. Then I logged in and saw this blog. I am a chronic “liker” and it kinda sucks because I know my friends are like, “damn, get off my nuts.” But pressing the like button makes me happy. So, until they block me, it’s my contribution to good karma on a delicately petite scale. GREAT PIECE!

  3. I spend most of my time on the news feed reading links to things I would’ve otherwise missed. It only gets bad when 150 people re-post the same link. Facebook is a godsend if you’re stuck at an office job, ha.

  4. The reason I got off of the Facebook. It is a Limbo that leads you to hours of comments and cyber friends that don’t hang out with you. It is a cool social network but can lead to a Jaded world.

    P.s. where are you Ms. Taylor? I seek you but fail. Maybe I am not trying hard enough.

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