Men have their fetishes. For most, it’s a woman’s toes. Fortunately, I can’t say the same goes for the ladies. I am pretty sure I can speak for many of us, when I say our fetish is facial hair. Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a fetish….It’s more like a strong urge to have a very quick relationship with your face.
So, in college I had a crush on this one guy. Words fell from his mouth like diamonds. The cruelty free kind. But what I liked more than what he said and the direction in which it slid, was how the hair on his face polished every single syllable.
One lady said she didn’t like it because it resembled an unkempt lawn in desperate need of a weedwacker. She can keep the concrete. Give me the lawn.
There was another guy who’s goiter was trimmed so well, I was inspired to go home and write a song about it.
And yet, there was another guy whose facial hair possessed so much swag, that I momentarily forgot my name. And if you would have asked me, chances are I would have responded with “one fifteen”.
It is this serious.
So, in the spirit of all things mustached, bearded and goitered, I would like to dedicate this post to all the fly men who know how to rock facial hair. May your diamonds fall with grace.